This week’s musical musing comes from Tove Lo. This album has been on my playlist all year. Dirt Femme is amazing, so if you haven’t listened, you should check it out!
One of my favorite songs is “Grapefruit” which has a nice pop feel and upbeat, but when you look at the lyrics, a world about diet culture is revealed. So much of our culture is obsessed with body image and the cycle of losing weight.
It’s interesting because before I lost weight in 2011, I had never been on the trendy diet train, I reduced calories, increased physical activity, and did the thing. As I gained weight over time, I tried keto, engaged in “dieting” vs. meal shifting, and think things turned into ways to lose weight rather than the way things turned out before. There was a time where fitness and nutrition became a central interest, and as I moved into maintenance, that morphed into something else.
So, the pieces of this speak to the how we view ourselves, try to make changes, and end up in this cycle of yo-yoing.
One, two, grapefruit, how am I back here again?
Three, four, lose more, I know my mirrors are lying
Five, six, hate this, take back the body I’m in
What I see is not me, what I see is not me
One, two, grapefruit, wish I could change overnight
Three, four, lose more, kill my obsession, please die
Five, six, hate this, how am I still in this fight?
What I see is not me, what I see is not me
The parts referring to “how am I still in this fight” ring especially true given how lifelong our relationship with food has to be and if we have challenges with that relationship, it can feel hopeless at times.
But, there is hope, cycles can be broken, and we can take back our bodies. It takes work; mental labor, physical activity, choices, planning, and it can feel overwhelming, but it’s possible. There are stories all around us, and we can overcome! I’ve done it before, and I can do it again, and so can you, so here is to breaking cycles!
Full Lyrics
Counting while I run the tap, I’m on my knees
Choking on my hands all night in my sleep
Counting all the calories, now get ’em up
Body positivity, help me out
The swans of ballet
Their skin and their bones, that’s not me
I’d die for my love though, break
Break ’til I wither away
What I see is not me, what I see is not me
One, two, grapefruit, how am I back here again?
Three, four, lose more, I know my mirrors are lying
Five, six, hate this, take back the body I’m in
What I see is not me, what I see is not me
One, two, grapefruit, wish I could change overnight
Three, four, lose more, kill my obsession, please die
Five, six, hate this, how am I still in this fight?
What I see is not me, what I see is not me
Sweet girl, you’re so disciplined, now keep it down
I don’t like my measurements, won’t make a sound
Diana, how she guards the clock
She’s in control
Now, why is everyone in shock?
You let her go
The swans of ballet
Their skin and their bones, that’s not me
I’d die for my love though, break
Break ’til I wither away
What I see is not me, what I see is not me
One, two, grapefruit, how am I back here again?
Three, four, lose more, I know my mirrors are lying
Five, six, hate this, take back the body I’m in
What I see is not me, what I see is not me
One, two, grapefruit, wish I could change overnight
Three, four, lose more, kill my obsession, please die
Five, six, hate this, how am I still in this fight?
What I see is not me, what see is not me
Oh, no
What I see is not me, what I see is not me
No, oh
What I see is not me, what I see is not me
